“The trouble with the rat race is even if you win it, you’re still a rat.”~Lily Tomlin
I recall an interesting discussion between my Malaysian friends and Singaporean ones in NUS, and what began as small talk proceeded to encompass discussions about life in Singapore, and a comparison of the education system here versus that of Malaysia’s. The mood was generally light-hearted with a sprinkling of jokes and heartfelt sharing and I did not sense any unsurpassable communication barrier between the malaysians and singaporeans. At first, it seemed that both cultures were either too similar or that the Malaysians were simply too well-acculturated in the Singaporean society
One of the Malaysians shared about how life in Yong Peng, a small village in Johor, was different from the larger, bustling metropolitan city like Singapore. She mentioned that life was simpler and of a slower pace, with entertainment centres like cinemas, shopping centres and arcades virtually non-existent. The high life and material pursuits were generally not sought after. Then, a Singaporean asked, albeit rather insensitively, if that was a boring and mundane existence compared to life in Singapore… I may not remember as vividly how the conversation proceeded thereafter, but what was shared had already struck a chord in my heart-the rat race. Is this how Singaporeans have become so different from Malaysians??
Like a rat in the maze,
The path before me lies,
And the pattern never alters
Until the rat dies
~Patterns(Simon and Garfunkel)
The Singaporean society is one that is brutally competitive and the education culture is generally extrinsically-motivated[1]. In that instance, I felt a sense of guilt and unease about my life, for in the process of striving for a greater material standard of living, I found myself short-changed for having sacrificed precious time that could have been used to forge stronger relationships[2] with family and friends. I have observed as society progressed, how teachers have gradually lost the authority they once had in schools, merely from the short span of time I was still a student to the recent experience from a teaching stint in other schools.
The conversations of many are centred around the cars we drive, the monthly paycheck we receive, and the restaurants we patronise. Men of presumably high moral or religious standing, TT Durai, Father Joachim Kang, Ming Yi have also been tainted by the lure of money.
All this time, our material standard of living has risen steadily, yet has this occurred at our moral/spiritual/relational standards of living?
[1] Extrinsic motivation refers to external factors that drive the individual, rewards such as money, grades or coercion.
[2] “What makes us happy?” An article published in the Psychology section on a study of 268 men from Harvard university by George Vaillant examines this question. He concluded that lasting happiness is found in relationships-loving ones.
Very nice use of quotes here.
ReplyDeleteI have a different view on this. The pursuit of higher quality of life does not equal to attaining higher standard of living. True that it depends on personal definition of the terms.
It is not for the pursuit of materialistic gains. In many cases, people pursue a dream to make an impact in the world. People pursue careers and not jobs which pay only in monetary terms. The lure of money is not as significant in finding our calling in life.
There is a difference between a laidback culture and a slower pace of life. I believe in life, there must be progress in every aspect of our life. There is nothing wrong with pursuit of our dreams so long as we do not get stuck in the rat race. There is a greater cause for which we are here for.
I leave you with a quote from Ralph Waldo Emerson.
What is Success?
To laugh often and much;
To win the respect of intelligent people
and the affection of children;
To earn the appreciation of honest critics
and endure the betrayal of false friends;
To appreciate beauty;
To find the best in others;
To leave the world a bit better, whether by
a healthy child, a garden patch
or a redeemed social condition;
To know even one life has breathed
easier because you have lived;
This is to have succeeded.
Hi You Sheng,
ReplyDeleteA rather wistful style of writing you have displayed here; one that is different from your usual style. I know of a place in Singapore that reminds me abit of Malaysia: Serangoon Garden (in the weekend mornings). People are just taking their own time enjoying coffee and each other's company. That was just a side note but! while it may seem like Malaysians are more laid-back than Singaporean, but they are not any less hardworking! There are many Malaysian Chinese who are doing excellently well here. In fact, many come here to obtain a degree or build a career.
The pursuit of material things goes almost hand-in-hand with the progress of a society. As the society of Singapore continually progresses (and this is something good), competition inevitably sets in. That being said, we should all aim to achieve a balance in our lives - Too much of anything, even something good like resting, is never good.
Cheers!
This is a rather pensive reflection, You Sheng, more so than even a description of an intercultural observation. It focuses more on your discomfort, it seems, with an element of contemporary Singaporean society than it does on any sort of variation in norms between different cultures. This is not to say that there is no variation between Singaporean Chinese and Malaysian Chinese. (I assume your dinner friends were all of Chinese descent. Is that correct?)
ReplyDeleteAt the same time, what seems to have been under discussion at your meal was the urban versus the rural, the city versus the kampong, and not so much a question of ethnic variation. Still, this is a valid discussion in our context. It might have been better though if you had emphasized the urban-rural aspect and made reference to how not just behaviors but even values become altered in the cityscape "rat race."
By the way, thanks for including the song from one of my all-time fav singing duos (city boys themselves, both from NYC).
A couple other comments:
1) as society progressed >> as society has progressed
2) I have observed as society progressed, how teachers have gradually lost the authority they once had in schools, merely from the short span of time I was still a student to the recent experience from a teaching stint in other schools. >>> meaning? interpret this in terms of the rat race you are focusing on
Thanks for your effort!
Hey yousheng,
ReplyDeleteI do not think that all Singaporeans are in the pursuit of material needs or are extrinsically motivated. In my opinion, having an emotionally rich life, close relationships, a happy lovelife are more important things in life. Money would be rather meaningless if you do not know how to enjoy relationships. The emotional fulfillment from material needs are often short-term and superficial. It never fulfills the heart completely. That is not to say, money is not important. I believe that life can still be very happy and fulfilling without luxurious pursuit, having a healthy income to get by life and indulge occasionally in a little luxury is sufficient :) I guess I can understand why malaysians are happy to live in 'boring villages' because they are largely intrinsically motivated.
@ YX: Thank you for commenting. You have provided me with some insights. In answering your comments, this is how I feel:
ReplyDelete1) Pursuit of higher standard of living is often synonymous with material gains. With reference to dreams, they dream to be rich. I speak this from a singaporean's perspective :)
2)I totally agree with your last paragraph before the quote!
@ steph: Thank you for sharing with me about serangoon gardens! I note that from personal experience, many of those malaysian friends I speak to are forced to be hardworking in order to keep up with the competition that is unnatural to them in the first place.. I agree with all of your points! :) But my emphasis is on how many have tethered towards the materialistic side of this 'balance' you mentioned.
@ Brad: My blog post and writing is usually unconventional and I apologise if you have to slow down in reading to fully appreciate what I mean. I load my ideas and organise them even if this may not be apparent.
I understand norms to be defined as the behavioural expectations and cues within a society or group. Hence, my discussion tended towards the lifestyle and goals of Singaporeans v.s. Malaysians because this had a powerful influence on their behavioural expectations and cues.
I would have discussed further about mores, which would also encompass virtues and value systems if I were not restricted by the word count, which is highly limiting given that I write on a deeper, more philosophical level than most.
In saving words to achieve the objectives of word count, I could have loaded many more ideas together or strung them together into a single bombastic word but that would simply achieve overkill. Hence, I left out many more ideas I could have discussed.. I.e. in achieving 'depth', I have sacrificed some 'breadth' but I have really tried my best to achieve balance in writing.. Thank you for recognising this effort.
You also mentioned...
(I assume your dinner friends were all of Chinese descent. Is that correct?) -> This is correct! :)
By the way, thanks for including the song from one of my all-time fav singing duos (city boys themselves, both from NYC). -> Wow I didn't know that. I'm glad that I did include it..
"I have observed as society progressed, how teachers have gradually lost the authority they once had in schools, merely from the short span of time I was still a student to the recent experience from a teaching stint in other school"
-> I'm sorry that this was not explained more clearly, but it demonstrates how much I am limited by the word count.. It is to express 2 ideas, one of which was already mentioned in the topic sentence:
1) the education culture is generally extrinsically-motivated.
2) respect for teachers, typical of an asian culture, is fast being eroded as a value intrinsic to the Singaporean culture
With reference to both ideas, it is possible that the extrinsic pursuit of qualifications (almost like a token economy[psychology]) and ultimately money could have blinded the children and/or parents towards the importance of establishing healthier relations with people(for e.g. a paradigm shift that teachers are now 'service providers' and 'customers' are king.)
@Weiping: I agree with all your ideas! If what you wrote is what you truly believe, then to a large extent, our values and belief systems are similar.. :)
Thanks, You Sheng, for taking the time to explain further. I appreciate the effort and the lack of "convention." (I'm not the most conventional guy around, I suppose.)
ReplyDeleteSlow down to read? Not really. Not what I want to do at all when I have 43 posts to read. But I must read and digest, with the assignment in mind. What I do want to challenge you on what you say and how you say it-- in every written assignment -- and I want you to review the effectiveness of what you are attempting to convey. That's why I probe and push and pull.
I can see that you are actually making social/cultural commentary in your post as you are critiquing the values that are being set before us as the most noble: slave away in school so you can succeed in uni then embark on a career and make as much money as possible, so you too can buy that flashy car, cool condo, diamond tiara ....
Like you, I like the way Weiping has summarized some of the same ideas that you touch on in his commentary. Even though I admire much in society here, I feel for you, I feel for your compatriots and anyone in the rat race here, but I especially feel for all Singaporeans who are NOT in the 10% who are millionaires already. With the pressure and the price hikes who might not feel that there working life is simply a treadmill jog?
Brad, you understood what I meant!
ReplyDeleteIn addition, I would just like to add that I learnt a lot from the anecdotes you shared in class about yourself. There's something intriguing about you venturing off the beaten track.. I certainly think you're different from many who run the rat race.. And I do know one thing~you enjoy your life and live it well!
So this post that I write, I hope to address to myself and many others who are seriously tempted by the lure of money and risk running the rat race, because if the lure of money weren't strong, the signs I mentioned in my blog post as well as many others I didn't would not have been available for me to substantiate the claims I make..
Yong Peng is one of my favorite place on the earth! ^-^ Thank you YouSheng for indirectly 'market' this relatively unsophisticated town.
ReplyDeleteJust like how people from urban area may perceive kampong as a 'boring place', people from rural areas may admire how the others can endure the competitiveness in city and enjoy the pursuits of luxurious material needs despite the sacrifice and high cost paid.
People with different cultural background can have different definition of 'good life quality'.
Personally, I agree with Steph that life is about moderation and balance. Yet, the balance scale in each individual's heart is unique.
Paragraph writing is also a excitement, if you be acquainted with
ReplyDeleteafter that you can write if not it is complicated to write.
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